Il rimpianto delle occasioni perdute
I poeti lo affermano nei loro versi, la psicologia lo conferma: il rimpianto delle occasioni perdute è molto più amaro di quello che abbiamo nei confronti dei fallimenti.
Se, infatti, quando subiamo un fallimento abbiamo un rimpianto per le cose fatte male, quando pensiamo al passato and begin to rinvangare missed opportunities, things that we have not done this regret increases significantly.
of us never regret anything? In psychology, the regret is defined as a feeling that combines one part emotional aspects (eg, sadness, shame, anger, etc.). and other cognitive ones (for example, an assessment which shows that we would have acted differently).
Thus, regret is always linked to action: is made to that and possibly wrong , is that you should have and could have done and for any reason, you did. He reasons with
me: do the right thing is impossible . How many times I knew I was wrong. What is important, is able to calmly handle the Your regrets that, necessarily, in the course of your life you have.
The next step is to "restructure" regret and see it from a different point of view. I learned how to restructure my regrets "errors that could happen to anyone .
For example, I do not have a degree and for a few years of my life I have this thing weighed a ton.
I still remember - it was the early nineties - I had a big opportunity to fly to Palo Alto, California, at a large U.S. multinational. Opportunities blurred because I was not graduated.
For about a year, I have no regrets lost opportunity torn then, one day, I sat at the table and I asked you a question: "Do you want to continue so for the rest of your life, or are you going to do something to change this situation? "
This question gave me the energy charge for changing my life. I decided to start studying on his own and recover the ground that I lost (my fault) did not graduate. It was 1994: since then, today, I read something as well 630 books.
Today, my culture is recognized by all and more than a degree. In fact, often are surprised to know that I graduated.
Paradoxically, in this way, my regrets are lighter and more easily slipped on the skin and it is as if they had become a kind of laboratory to learn something new. I knew it was wrong not to graduate and finally did something practical to address, without complaining.
As the saying goes? " not all evil comes to harm .
The advice: learn to deal with intelligence Thy regret, turn them into new opportunities.
And you, managing your regrets? Leave me a comment to this post .
Giancarlo Fornei Trainer & Motivational Coach Mental
"What helps people to achieve a goal in 5 steps"
Author of ebooks Women in Crisis - already the author Think Positive motivational ebook
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